x.X|[I].t.[D].o.e.s.n.t.[S].t.o.p.|X.x

I don't know why I made that title.... Whatever. Even sinse yesterday, it's been getting worse. This hole... it's getting bigger and bigger and I don't know how to fill it. My friends keep on saying they're there for me, they'll never leave my side, blah blah blah, always the same thing to try and comfert me, and I know they'll always be there, I know all of that already! You don't have to keep saying the same thing! I feel bad for saying this, but I want to be left alone! I don't know why, but.... Being alone I feel safe, I can clear my head and think. Nothng is clear when I'm with people and I don't why. I've made a lot of new poems too.... Okay only two poems. I'm not so morbid like I used to be.... Only scared, confused, lost, and so much more. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm pushed everyone away, and I'm afraid I'm going to loose everyone with the way I'm going. I'm sorry for saying what I said but.... I just feel like that I don't know why.....


Now time for peotry::



We talk, we laugh, we smile,
But what for?
We say meaningless things,
just to make us laugh,
to cover everything we feel.

The sweet girl, her smile kind
Her voice sweet, her eyes welcoming,
She loves her family, friends
She perfect all around.
But she's so confused, why?
Her friends are in pain,
she doesn't know what to do.
c o n f u s i o n.

The funny girl, her eyes bright
her soul loving, her smile caring
she loves her friends, wants to help them
but when she is at home
she's alone, her world crumbling
she wants someone with her.
a l o n e.

The tough girl, her heart big
her hug warm, her step bounced
she protects her friends, loves them,
but inside, she's crying out.
she wants their attention
And she tells stories.
l o s t.

The silent girl, her mind complex
her heart turned cold, her smile gone
she stays by herself, pushed them away
She's screaming inside, dying,
she wants to be saved.
d e a d.

Life crumbles around them.
It all ends one day,
to no one's surprise.
No one left standing.
confusion, alone, lost, dead=
LIFE?
NO, it equals
CHAOS


Death Gone Unnoticed.
by Janae Mills

Running, hiding, cowering.
Is this what I am?
I'm forced to hide,
to hide from my pain.
I want to run, run away.
Why won't it leave me alone?
I'm sick of the pain,
of the misery, of the fear,
but it won't leave me alone.
They say they're at my side,
My friends would always be there.
But I don't want them there!
Why don't I want them there?
I want to be by myself, left alone,
but if I am, will I give in?
Will I fill that hole, with something I shouldn't?
I feel alone, I feel afraid, But I don't want anyone.
I want to stay alone, stay silent. But I'm screaming!
Can't anyone hear me? I scream and I cry,
won't anyone save me? Does anybody even notice?
Does anybody even care?
I want to be alone, but I don't want to fall.
Nobody sees me, hears me
falling away, screaming.
I'm dying inside, and no one even notices.
They think I'm okay,
"Nothing is wrong." I say,
"I'm okay."
But that's not what I'm saying!
"Help me!" I'm screaming,
"Save me."
But I'm falling. Dying. Screaming.
My death will come unnoticed.

~MaX, Savvy?

P.S. Just because I said that about my friends, doesn't mean I hate them. I still love them more than anything.